Behind the Words - "The Right Way to Love"

I chose this poem to be the next in the series for various reasons, but mostly importantly, it explores what I think love is about on love's day.

Valentine's Day, 2011 Edition

As unconvincing as this may sound, I did not mean to post on the subject, but a dream can do crazy things to your reality. I dreamt last night that I was with my fiancee and friends on a boat vacationing. When we left, the sky was clear, the day beautiful. We don't really get a lot of time to spend with each other, so this was special to be around people we respected and appreciated while being in each other's presence. Gradually, the day grayed as we were still on the boat. A little anxiety crept up, but we were close to shore, so I didn't put too much imphasis on it.

Out of nowhere a giant wave appeared, closing in on the boat at a surprising pace. I looked at everyone and told them to get down and grab something. The wave engulfed the boat and people were thrown to and fro. I was able to grab the railing, holding onto the boat like a life-line. My fiancee, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

At that moment I prayed to God. And this is the main reason I'm sharing this story. I prayed not for my own life to be saved or for forgiveness. I asked the Lord to help me make it through the storm so that I could see my fiancee again. Nobody and nothing popped in my mind at that moment; I just wanted to be with her, even if we were going to die together. The entire rest of the dream I spent searching for her. I woke up before I found her, relieved that it was just a dream.

As I reminisced on the dream, I wondered what my actions meant. What does it say about me that I would risk dying without forgiveness to save my fiancee? Why not my mother, father, sister, or niece, who I love so dearly? The answer I've come up with between then and now is that my love is nothing but genuine, pure, and deep for her. The love is beyond consciousness; it has sunk into my instincts, actions without thoughts. To happen on Valentine's Day is coincedence, but it too magnifies the intensity with which I love her. It is not something I have to convince myself of, nothing I am unsure about. It is entrenched in me, like I was born with it. I never realized someone could mean that much, but without her, I don't know, I can't imagine it. People see our situation (with her in Cali and me in Ala.) and say that she isn't with me now. Those people fail to realize that she never leaves me, as Jesus never leaves me. To me, they are both in my heart, both represent love.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Player Moves: Lesson 2 - The Movie Theater Armrest

Anyone who hasn't lived in their room for the past 100 years, knows that when you go to the movie theater, there is but one armrest between seats. Friends and family members alike may gayly argue about who gets it. On a date, however, it can play a crucial role.

Animatrix 'World Record'

This short anime is the type of intrigue that I hope to bring people. Something you can't help but get a message out of, even if you didn't want to. Maybe I need to create a workd like the Matrix...

Compilation Album of Kanye West Tweets

Hilarious idea. And I would actually buy the album, lol.

Update 02-09-11

I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry I haven't been posting lately; trying to graduate on time shouldn't be this involved. Anyways, thank you for your patience and I have some posts coming up, so stayed tuned ^_^

Wait, what?

Rock Bottom

Test Video

Working on an intro...got some work to do.

Player Moves: Lesson 1 - Wrestling, Tickling, and Hitting

Player Moves. What are they? Player Moves include gestures, actions, and hints men display in order to romance, sex, or seduce women. Ironically, some women seem to be completely oblivious to them. So I, on behalf of both sexes, am here to bring them to light. The first one is "Wrestling, Tickling, Hitting."

Behind the Words - "Soul Seeker"

Naturally, the first poem that I will go into is my personal favorite, "Soul Seeker". I wrote this poem in late 2005, after I was forced to move to Alabama from Illinois, where I had lived the last 16 years of my life. I didn't want to be there, but what was worse was that the people of Alabama didn't seem to want me neither. I was alone, lonely, and misunderstood. So I wrote this to express how I wanted somebody to know me for me. Well, at least that's where it started. As I progressed, I found that I was sharing feelings, that I feel, Christ must have felt while He was here. In no way do I equate our lives or experiences, but I didn't feel as alone once I saw this. So without further delay, Behind the Words of "Soul Seeker"

Mind Ramblings 02-02-11

Sometimes it is so hard to recognize what the Lord is saying or not saying. Sin is relatively easy, yes or no. Grey decisions that are neither wrong nor right? Difficult as all get out. Sometimes I wish I could turn off my analytical mind, not think of every angle. Sometimes I wish I didn't care about integrity or people's feelings. How do you live in faith when you don't know which decision to be faithful to? My mind is like a factory: inputing different thoughts and yet producing the same inconclusive product over and over again. It's easy to navigate darkness with light, but how do you navigate blinding light without darkness? Sleep is the only rest I get from my mind and heart. Hopefully, there's peace there too. I'm not complaining though; I'm grateful in being overblessed. Just wondering what I'm supposed to do next.