The Right Way to Love
He gently grabs her hair and passionately pulls her pelvis to his.
She earns their entire income and he stays at home with the children.
He slaps her, he calls her his bitch.
She's comforted by the tongue and touch of a woman.
He takes her out to dinner and a movie.
She sits, she waits.
He awakes with a sore rectum and a potent aftertaste within his mouth and upon his goatee.
He sleeps sacrificially so she can sleep peacefully.
She keeps a picture of her son in her hair, the only place a customer wouldn't feel it.
He places his mouth upon another man's.
He places his mouth upon another dying man's.
He buys her a diamond necklace.
She buys him a yacht.
She leaves an abusive relationship.
He saves his year's check for her stone bracelet.
9th-graders fondle underneath the bleachers.
He robs and kills for them.
She breaks his heart for him.
He wears his flag.
She wears ink.
He places a ring on her finger.
She's raped for herself.
He looks himself in the mirror and accepts.
These and other endless affections
By: The Humblist
Background: I wrote this poem in December of 2008 while involved in a poetry club at my school. The contrasting opinions and their separate justifications made me wonder what the difference was between the way I showed love and the way others did. Some women like being their man's "bitch" while others are ready to fight if called one. Is this wrong or right? Is there any black and white in love or is it all just gray. This poem investigates the various ways, I feel, people demonstrate love.
Disclaimer: I will go over only the "confusing" lines. The obvious ones I will leave for you to interpret. Also, if you got something else out of the poem, please share. I would LOVE to hear what you all think.
"She earns their entire income and he stays at home with the children."
Love is demonstrated by both the man and woman in this instance. He is selfless enough to stifle his ego and raise his children. He also shows that he's cool with allowing his woman to pursue her career. Her love is shown through her money.
"He slaps her, he calls her his bitch."
Various ways to take this, the obvious is an abusive relationship. However crazy it sounds, there is love in those relationships. But an alternative is a sexual session where the man slaps the ass of his woman, talking dirty to enhance the moment. Some women thoroughly enjoy these moments (even though they probably won't tell a stranger or even their friends).
"She's comforted by the tongue and touch of a woman."
AH NO!!! NOT HOMOS!!! Chill out. I have seen genuine love between two men and two women and the public's acknowledgment of this is an underlying message of this poem that I will magnify at the conclusion of this discussion. This particular lines shows the physical and emotional love between two women. The tongue is physical, but also speaks to the simple communication between two individuals. Some women can't talk to men and be comforted in the same way they would be talking to other women.
"She sits, she waits."
Some people deal with individuals that they care about by allowing them to pursue a life of self-destruction, whether that be physical, emotional, or spiritual. They wait until the person gets tired, comes to him/herself, or needs help. It also alludes to those who continue to love, even though they know the other person is out doing mischief.
"He awakes with a sore rectum and a potent aftertaste within his mouth and upon his goatee."
Another homosexual example, however more explicit than the other. The main focus is the physical way a man can love another man.
"He sleeps sacrificially so she can sleep peacefully."
A man dying for another individual to live is one of the most selfless acts a human being can demonstrate. This line, however, can have a darker meaning as well. The man could have been murdered in order for the woman to live a peaceful life. Depends on how you look at it.
"She keeps a picture of her son in her hair, the only place a customer wouldn't feel it."
A prostitute showing love for her son.
"He places his mouth upon another man's."
He places his mouth upon another dying man's."
For all of my homophobes out there, these two are for you. Homosexual men kissing/one man saving another's life through CPR. One word ("dying") makes one "right" and the other "wrong". Same action, different meanings. These lines foreshadow this theme for the rest of the poem.
"He buys her a diamond necklace.
She buys him a yacht."
Men and women show their love by purchasing items for each other. However, some men don't like the idea of receiving extravagant gifts from women. They are supposed to be the provider and yada yada. But I ask, what's the difference?
"She leaves an abusive relationship."
Self-love.
"He saves his year's check for her stone bracelet."
Stone bracelet = graphite or diamond? If graphite, does that change how much he loves?
"9th-graders fondle underneath the bleachers."
Exploring love. Notice no gender is mentioned.
"He robs and kills for them."
Even criminals love. The action is justified by the reason, not the nature of the action. Example: people root for cops in action movies, even though it involves killing and stealing from the crooks. Does this make killing and stealing ok?
"She breaks his heart for him."
Some women know they can't sufficiently love.
"He wears his flag."
Gang/region/country/nation/neighborhood/....-love
"She's raped for herself."
Women who subject themselves to prostitution, striping, or abusive men who take advantage of them. A very twisted form of self-love.
"He looks himself in the mirror and accepts."
One of the hardest self-loves.
"These and other endless affections"
There are so many forms and displays of love, the possibilities hold no bonds. Which directs me to the name of the poem, "The Right Way to Love". Through this poem I looked to prove to myself and to others that there is no right way to love. In my opinion, you can't look at one situation and say, no, that's not love or that's wrong. Circumstances in society make certain situations wrong, but love exist everywhere. Regardless of how you slice it, it is everywhere. That's why God is described as love; it touches and affects everyone, permeating through our differences.
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