Valentine's Day, 2011 Edition

As unconvincing as this may sound, I did not mean to post on the subject, but a dream can do crazy things to your reality. I dreamt last night that I was with my fiancee and friends on a boat vacationing. When we left, the sky was clear, the day beautiful. We don't really get a lot of time to spend with each other, so this was special to be around people we respected and appreciated while being in each other's presence. Gradually, the day grayed as we were still on the boat. A little anxiety crept up, but we were close to shore, so I didn't put too much imphasis on it.

Out of nowhere a giant wave appeared, closing in on the boat at a surprising pace. I looked at everyone and told them to get down and grab something. The wave engulfed the boat and people were thrown to and fro. I was able to grab the railing, holding onto the boat like a life-line. My fiancee, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

At that moment I prayed to God. And this is the main reason I'm sharing this story. I prayed not for my own life to be saved or for forgiveness. I asked the Lord to help me make it through the storm so that I could see my fiancee again. Nobody and nothing popped in my mind at that moment; I just wanted to be with her, even if we were going to die together. The entire rest of the dream I spent searching for her. I woke up before I found her, relieved that it was just a dream.

As I reminisced on the dream, I wondered what my actions meant. What does it say about me that I would risk dying without forgiveness to save my fiancee? Why not my mother, father, sister, or niece, who I love so dearly? The answer I've come up with between then and now is that my love is nothing but genuine, pure, and deep for her. The love is beyond consciousness; it has sunk into my instincts, actions without thoughts. To happen on Valentine's Day is coincedence, but it too magnifies the intensity with which I love her. It is not something I have to convince myself of, nothing I am unsure about. It is entrenched in me, like I was born with it. I never realized someone could mean that much, but without her, I don't know, I can't imagine it. People see our situation (with her in Cali and me in Ala.) and say that she isn't with me now. Those people fail to realize that she never leaves me, as Jesus never leaves me. To me, they are both in my heart, both represent love.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.